my querying journey: from pitch to offer
Hello fellow writers! I thought I’d make a belated blog post—my first!—about my querying experience for CURIOUS TIDES in the hopes it might prove helpful for anyone jumping into the query trenches.
First, what is querying?
In traditional publishing, literary agents represent you and your manuscript. They are the ones who will try to sell your book to publishing houses and negotiate terms and have your back throughout the entire publishing process. Querying is the process of finding that literary agent. It usually involves sending out a query letter, a synopsis, and sample pages to agents who you think will be a match for you and your book, in the hopes that they will offer representation (aka that they will want to work with you).
Second, a disclaimer:
My querying experience was not “normal” by any means. I queried back in 2022 right after Pitch Wars, which was a mentorship program that helped writers get their manuscript into shape for querying.
I spent months revising CURIOUS TIDES with the help of my mentors, authors Kat Dunn and Sarah Underwood, before submitting a pitch and first page sample to the Pitch Wars agent showcase. During this showcase, loads of agents would read our entries, and if they liked a pitch and sample, they would request partial or full manuscripts to be sent their way.
I was lucky to have multiple agents interested in my manuscript. I sent queries and partial/full manuscripts out to these requesting agents, along with cold queries to agents I had on my list who weren’t participating in the showcase. I received multiple agent offers within a few days of sending out my query packages.
That was the thing about Pitch Wars—everything tended to be incredibly fast paced. Agents knew that participating writers would likely get offers of representation within a few days or weeks of the showcase, so the turnaround was very quick for a lot of us. This is, to my knowledge, not the norm outside of events like Pitch Wars.
In the end, I received six offers of representation and went through a 2-3 week process of asking these offering agents questions to see who might be the best fit for me, my book, and ultimately my career. I’m still to this day with the agent I ended up signing with, Victoria Marini, who was one of my “dream” agents. Together we went through another round of revisions before submitting my book to publishers, and eventually selling CURIOUS TIDES and its sequel in a three-way-auction to Margaret K. McElderry, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, for a high six-figure deal.
Which begs another disclaimer:
I am not writing this post as a prescriptive guideline to getting an agent and landing a six-figure deal with a Big Five publisher. Many, many factors go into signing with an agent and getting a book published. Hard work is one of them, sure. But so are timing and luck and privilege. I’m an author who wrote a dark academia fantasy book during a dark academia hype—perfect timing. I was lucky to be chosen for Pitch Wars, and I also lucked out with both my agent and my editor. And I’m a white woman in an industry that is unfortunately still steeped in white privilege. So, clearly, I had all these factors working in my favour here.
I’m sharing the things that led to my own success, but please know there is no one road to success in this industry. Mine is just one example out of many.
PITCH & SAMPLE
This was the pitch and first page sample used in my Pitch Wars showcase entry for CURIOUS TIDES. This is what participating agents first read, and those who liked it responded to my entry by requesting I send them either a partial or full manuscript.
This wouldn’t be part of a “normal” query package, but I’m including it here so that you get the full picture of how my experience went. And though Pitch Wars sadly doesn’t exist anymore, other pitch contests still do—so hopefully my pitch can serve as an example!
Pitch:
Emory believes her secret drowned with her classmates—until their bodies start washing ashore, threatening to unveil her twisted magic and its role in their deaths. With the help of reclusive student Baz, Emory must seek the truth behind the drownings before her powers—and the secret society they draw to her—consume her next.
NINTH HOUSE meets THE STARLESS SEA in this lush, dark world where secrets, stories, and those lost to the tide never remain lost for long.
Sample:
She was drowning in a sea of stars.
Emory knew this was how she would die, smothered by this strange tide. Selfishly, she hoped the thing brushing against her was Romie; she didn’t want to die alone.
In the darkness between stars were memories she wished to forget: a cave like a womb, the students at its heart, the widening of Romie’s eyes as the sea rushed in, swift and inevitable.
We are born of the moon and tides and to them we return.
But Emory wasn’t ready to go.
The thought was a flimsy lifeline she reached for, hands seeking purchase in wet sand until they found a clammy, solid weight to grasp.
Emory, Emory, the sea whispered. It relinquished its hold as she hauled herself onto shore. The receding waves unveiled the shape of her anchor in the sand, and Emory jerked back, a scream lodged in her throat.
A body: limbs bent and broken and wrong. Others were strewn around it, blue lips and unseeing eyes, but all Emory could think as she searched their pallid faces was how none of them were Romie.
And if this was death, it was a cruel punishment to keep them apart at the end of all things.
Your fault, the stars above seemed to say. Emory couldn’t find it in herself to refute them.
QUERY LETTER
As stated above, my querying journey was different in the sense that agents requested my manuscript before I even queried them, since they saw my pitch & sample in the Pitch Wars showcase. So they were expecting my query, and I personalized it as such.
I did also send out cold queries (queries to agents who had not requested my work), which would usually be the norm when querying. Both my cold queries and queries to requesting agents were the same, except for the first paragraph personalization.
Another disclaimer: Before Pitch Wars, an acquiring editor from a traditional publisher contacted me via Twitter (now X) after a post of mine about CURIOUS TIDES caught their eye. They expressed interest in reading my manuscript. I was in the middle of getting my book into shape to submit to Pitch Wars and didn’t think it was ready to be read by an editor, especially one whose work I admired so much. I didn’t want to blow my chances, so I decided to try getting into Pitch Wars first, revise the book properly, and sign with an agent before potentially sending the manuscript to this editor.
When querying, I made sure to mention this editor’s interest. I don’t know if it swayed agents one way or another—after all, the editor hadn’t read my book yet; this wasn’t an offer, but it was at least an invitation to sub to them when the time came. I thought it was pertinent enough to include in my query. (And if you’re wondering how that turned out, my agent and I did submit my book to this editor, who was at an adult imprint, but they were not one of the three YA editors who ended up offering on my book.)
Dear [agent name],
Thank you for your interest in my Pitch Wars showcase entry for CURIOUS TIDES, a college-aged young adult fantasy complete at 88,000 words, with crossover and series potential. As requested, I’ve attached the full manuscript for your consideration.
[For cold queries, I opened with: I am seeking representation for my manuscript, CURIOUS TIDES, a college-aged young adult fantasy complete at 88,000 words, with crossover and series potential. It was chosen for Pitch Wars 2021 by mentors Sarah Underwood and Kat Dunn.]
After surviving a strange ritual in the treacherous Dovermere sea caves, Emory Ainsleif believes her secret drowned with her classmates—until their bodies start washing ashore, threatening to unveil her twisted Eclipse magic and its role in their deaths. With the help of reclusive student Baz Brysden, Emory must seek the truth behind the drownings—and the cult-like secret society she’s convinced her classmates were involved in—before her powers consume her next.
Thankfully, Baz is well versed in the deadly nature of Eclipse magic, a dark perversion of the sacred lunar cycle. For years, he has limited the use of his abilities in fear of Collapsing, the gruesome fate that awaits reckless Eclipse-born. His control threatens to slip when he helps Emory hone her gift, getting close to her in an attempt to uncover what happened to his sister—one of those who drowned at Dovermere, and Emory’s best friend.
While a tentative bond forms between the two over their shared loss, Emory’s investigation into the secret society leads her down a path more dangerous than any Collapsing. She’s not the only one seeking answers, and when her magic draws the society’s attention, she finds their thirst for power strangely alluring… until she realizes it is her power they thirst for.
Ninth House meets The Starless Sea in this lush, dark world where secrets, stories, and those lost to the tide never remain lost for long. CURIOUS TIDES was chosen for Pitch Wars 2021 by mentors Kat Dunn and Sarah Underwood. It also garnered interest on Twitter from [name of editor], who has privately requested to read it once I’m agented. I live in Ottawa, Canada, where I got my BA in French Literature.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
All the best,
Pascale Lacelle
SYNOPSIS
Not every agent asks for you to include a synopsis in your query package, but some do. I don’t personally know anyone who enjoys writing synopses, myself included (they’re hard to write! It’s not easy to condense a full-length book in a single page!) but it is something that will likely be needed at some point or another, in some shape or form.
Here’s mine. In retrospect I think it could have been better, but it’s what I sent out to agents requiring a synopsis.
At Aldryn College for Lunar Magics, students learn to hone abilities derived from the moon phase they were born to: New Moon, Waxing, Full, Waning, or the rare Eclipse. Emory Ainsleif has New Moon magic, or so she believes until a strange ritual in the Dovermere sea caves claims eight of her classmates, sparing her but leaving her with mysterious new powers. When one of the bodies washes ashore, the circumstances of its death threaten to reveal Emory’s secret: she has Eclipse magic, the yet unheard-of ability to call upon every moon phase at will. To avoid being stripped of her magic, Emory turns to Eclipse student Baz Brysden for help.
Baz is a recluse who would rather hone his mind than his rare time-bending magic, fearing he is one misstep away from Collapsing—a deadly implosion of the self that awaits Eclipse-born who lose control. Despite his reservations and complicated relationship with magic, Baz agrees to help Emory hone her power, all so he can find out what happened to his sister, Romie—one of those who drowned at Dovermere, and Emory’s best friend.
A tentative bond forms between the two over their shared loss, even as their respective search for answers pulls them further apart. Baz seeks the truth in an old children’s story about heroes traveling to other worlds. Since Romie had heard these worlds call to her in her dreams, just like the heroes in the story did, Baz believes she went to Dovermere in search of a portal that would lead her there.
Meanwhile, Emory’s search for answers leads her to an alluring upperclassman who knows more than he should about the ritual in Dovermere. When he discovers Emory’s Eclipse magic, he introduces her to the cult-like Selenic Order, the same secret society her drowned classmates were seeking to join. The Order wants to use Emory’s gift to summon the long-dead deities known as the Tides, who can restore magic to what it used to be—and bring Romie back from the dead.
Seduced by its leader, Emory agrees to join the Order and help them summon the Tides. But when Romie calls to her in a dream, Emory realizes her friend is still alive, trapped on the other side of a door that lies in Dovermere. She believes it leads to the Deep, the realm of the dead; Baz thinks it leads to other worlds like in the stories. Together, they brave the depths of Dovermere to save Romie before she meets the same fate as the other drowned students whose bodies keep mysteriously washing ashore. But a nightmarish magic beyond their abilities and a near-Collapsing incident threaten to kill them both before they can find answers.
With Romie’s life still on the line and Baz too fearful to keep going with their reckless plan, Emory is forced to turn to the Order for help opening the door. Together, they discover the strange magic in her blood is the key to unlocking the door and surviving whatever lies on the other side. Just when she is about to go through, the Order’s leader betrays Emory, revealing he means to use her as a vessel for the Tides and wield her as a weapon with which to destroy all Eclipse magic, which he sees as a perversion of the lunar cycle.
Baz follows Emory to Dovermere to save her from the Order’s grasp. He discovers a near-limitless magic inside him when he realizes he can survive the Collapsing, and with it he vows to keep the door open for Emory, buying her time. In the space between realms, Emory uses her own magic to thwart the Order’s leader and regain mastery of her fate. She hears the same fabled call Romie did, pulling her to a second door, which makes her believe it leads not to the Deep, but to another world like in the story. Emory goes through it, willing to risk her life and whatever awaits on the other side for a chance to save her friend—and for Baz, the one person who believed in her, who risked it all for her despite his fears, and who deserves the same selfless courage from her now in return.
SAMPLE PAGES
Agents ask for different things in terms of sample pages to include with your query letter (sometimes it’s the first 10 pages, sometimes it’s more, sometimes it’s a specific word count). Be sure to always look up agency guidelines for every single agent you query to know the specifics of what they’re looking for.
I won’t post the first 10 pages of my manuscript here, simply because of the length, but know that they included a prologue and the first chapter in its entirety.
I know there are mixed opinions about prologues and I’m not here to discuss the pros and cons of including them in your query package. My prologue was the sample I used in the Pitch Wars showcase that I posted above—it’s very short, for one thing, and essential to the setup of the book, in my opinion.
I might do a separate blog post soon to post my sample pages and dissect them, if people are interested!
OFFER FOLLOWUP (“THE NUDGE”)
If you have partial or full manuscripts out with multiple agents and receive an offer from one of them, it’s common practice to advise the other agents of your offer. This lets them know that there’s a small window for them to also offer representation, if they’re interested, before you sign elsewhere. I was told to give these other agents a two-week deadline. This gives them time to read your manuscript, and it gives you time to consider the first offer you received.
I had offers trickling in near the end of my two-week deadline, so I ended up asking offering agents for a few extra days while I weighed my options. As I narrowed down my choices, I hopped on multiple calls with some of the agents and emailed questions I forgot to ask on the initial “offer call”. Everyone was more than happy to accommodate me. (If an agent pressures you to sign with them ASAP, or if they’re reticent to answer questions… that’s a red flag, friend.)
Anyway, here’s the email I sent agents after I received my first offer of representation.
Hi [agent name],
Apologies for following up so soon—things are moving quite quickly—but I’ve received an offer of representation elsewhere for CURIOUS TIDES. I’d still love for you to consider the manuscript. Would it be possible to let me know whether you would be interested by Monday, March 7th? [I gave agents a two-week deadline to get back to me after receiving my first offer from another agent.]
Thank you, I look forward to hearing from you!
Best,
Pascale
I hope you found these helpful! Good luck in your querying journey :)